Are They Here for You—or for What You Can Do?

A client recently reached out after stepping down as president of a women’s organization, shaken by what followed. One woman—someone she had considered a close friend—suddenly had no time for her. The warmth, availability, and connection vanished almost overnight.

What made it hurt even more was seeing that same person quickly attach herself to the new president. What once felt like a genuine, supportive friendship revealed itself as something else entirely. It wasn’t transformational—it was transactional.

Transactional relationships are conditional. They revolve around what someone believes you can offer—power, access, influence, or resources. When that perceived value disappears, so does the relationship.

Transformational relationships are different. They are rooted in who you are, not what you do. They are reciprocal, steady, and real. They show up for your humanity, not your title, and they remain present even when there’s nothing to gain.

This moment invites an important reflection: Who would still be in your corner if your role or title changed tomorrow? Who celebrates you when no one is watching? And just as importantly—what kind of relationships are you offering to others?

Real leadership, friendship, and connection are built on empathy and consistency, not convenience. Because the most meaningful relationships are never about the transaction—they’re about the transformation.